Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Work Rant

What better way for me to spend this cold and wet day in San Diego than ranting about bureaucracy in the workplace? There's so many (what's new?) that I can't even hone in on one particular. Okay, maybe one. Knee jerk reactions. Of all the years I've been in my field, I constantly have to fight the knee jerk reactions of upper management to avoid stupid policies and procedures put in place because of some stupid moron who didn't know better.

A knee jerk reaction is "an immediate unthinking emotional reaction produced by an event or statement to which the reacting person is highly sensitive; - in persons with strong feelings on a topic, it may be very predictable." See if you recognize this scenario. Someone screwed up something for whatever reason, you choose. Someone's boss panics and runs around the office going "how did this happen? who is suppose to be managing this? what are we going to do to prevent this? someone call a meeting so we can micro-analyze this and beat it until the horse is dead and decaying! ignore those vultures because we have got to get a handle on this!"

Uh-huh. And for the next 3-4 months, a group of poor sacks get stuck in some "sub-committee" to put some procedure in place so that "Someone" or someone like him can't ever fuck-up again. Oh sorry, I should use business language, "so we can prevent this from occurring in the future." Of course those who know me should already know what's going through my mind at this point. But I'll drawn it out for shits and giggles for those who don't.

First, I would ask what's Someone's IQ. Actually, I probably would put it more like this, "Is Someone a stupid fuck who can't dig his way out of a pot hole?"

If the answer is yes, I would then have asked, "how likely is it for another person smarter than Someone to make the same mistake?" Well, uh, it's possible. Really? How possible? Same possibility that I will win the the lotto next week so I won't have to come in here anymore to deal with you morons, or more of the possibility of another moron coworker pissing me off in the next few days? Now if it's the latter, then I say that we may have a problem on our hands and it's quite possible the problem may not all be "Someone's" fault.

If it's the former, then I would say, "take your head out of your ass and if you really want to prevent this from happening again, fire Someone." Then you can be guaranteed that Someone will never do it again. How's that for soft management? Hey, I have feelings, very strong feelings as a matter of fact. Anger, frustration, irritation, annoyance, these are all feelings. Who said I don't have feelings? It would actually make my life so much better if I really didn't have any feelings.

Okay, okay. I'm done with my bitching. Only because I have to mentally prepare myself for my meeting in 10 minutes, which happens to be a meeting I had to call because another "Someone" has failed to provide the necessary processes needed and now I have to (once again!) step in and correct it. Friday 4 pm cannot come soon enough.

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